Soon after the engagement, your groom and you should learn what roles are involved in a wedding and who do you want to be what. Meet with your parents as a group if possible, and discuss their roles, wishes, actual size of the event and finances if the parents take on responsibility for that or part of it.

List the roles of the attendants and name who you would like to fulfill each role. The number of attendants is your choice, but be sensible as the number will affect your expenses. Remember that the people you ask should be able to afford the expenses and time involved in preparing – if they cannot but you would still like to involve them, ask them to assist on the wedding day. Be firm once you have made your list and asked particular persons to be your attendants, and don't feel guilty about selecting one person over another. Those who love you and wish you the best will love you even if you don't ask them to be attendants, but simply to be guests and enjoy themselves during your special day.