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by IDO Magazine

You just got married and going back to your normal life might seem like an anti-climax after the excitement of your wedding day. Here is how to cope in those first few months

• Be prepared to cry before or after marriage. The week of the wedding most brides can’t help but cry and often think something is wrong with them. Only later do they realize that they are crying because they’re saying good-bye to their former life. You will never be the same person again. Yes, you are happy, but you need to ‘mourn’ too. So, if you find yourself crying, let yourself. Feel what you’re going to feel and don’t hide from your emotions.

• Trust your spouse. They promised to love you and honor you. Respect them as your spouse and as a person.

• You will have an argument. Don’t threaten to go home or leave. Stick with the discussion until it’s solved. If it gets too heated then take a time out. Listen to each other.

• You might have just moved into a house or an apartment. Things are stressed, but take it slow. Life will be normal eventually. Priorities things that need immediate attention. Don’t over extenuate yourself. If possible, one of you should move in first or take time off to settle in.

• Moving costs can be expensive. Ask around for someone who wouldn’t mind lending his or her truck or van. Try to load up as much as you can.

• If you don’t own a dishwasher, use paper plates or do the washing together. Doing the dishes takes a lot of time if alone.

• Take time to yourself. You need to be good to yourself before being good to someone else.

• If you need to talk to someone, do so. Don't get stuck on relationship difficulties. Seek help.

Keeping the romance alive

• Continue to appreciate the special qualities that originally attracted you to your mate. In the courting days we take time to pay attention to the uniqueness of our significant other. There is no reason for the praise to end after marriage. In sharing more time together there is more to acknowledge within the spouse. It comes to being aware and taking the time to share with each other.

• Don't expect the other person to know what you expect. Husbands and wives are not mind readers. We often think the other person knows what we are thinking. When expectations are not met, it may be that the other person has no idea what is going on within your mind. Ask for what you want or desire. Allow the other person the right to choose if he or she can fulfill the request. Many challenges can be avoided by simply sharing thoughts.

• Take time for each other. In the dating days, time is spent in planning time together. The time allows the couple to get to know each other so the relationship develops. This is necessary after marriage too. A new relationship has been formed. Time is important so that it continues to develop in positive ways. Plan a date night as your special time together. One person can plan for one week, the other for the next keeping the responsibility rotating. If one plans an activity that is not exciting to the other, the other should be committed to go and enjoy the evening anyway. It is a great way to explore new activities together.

• Be slow to criticize and quick to praise. Share loving words every day. Do small gestures of love consistently. It is nice to be remembered all through the year not just on special occasions.

• Keep a sense of humor. If it will be funny in fifty years, it's funny now.

• Recommit daily to your marriage, your own process of growth as well as the growth of your beloved. No matter what is going on, something good will come from the experience if both are committed to the relationship.



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