As bestman, your traditional role would be that of marrying the bride should the groom, for some reason, does not make it. Kidding aside, here is a list of duties you may actually be asked to perform. It has been compiled to the best of our knowledge but feel free to modify as required:
Before the wedding:
- Help groom plan the wedding and honeymoon as required.
- Help the groom confirm the wedding and honeymoon arrangements.
- In particular, help with groom's, bestman's, usher's clothes.
- Organise the bachelors party.
- Keep track of payments, pending and paid and receipts obtained.
- Decide with couple about WHO will keep the cash gifts during reception and where.
- Decide with couple what to do with flower arrangements at hall after reception is over.
- Discuss church donation with couple and agree to handle it if necessary
- Discuss timings of reception night with couple e.g. 5:30pm mass, 7:30pm reception, 10pm buffet table, etc. and prepare list... Give a copy to head waiter.
- Ensure you know caterer's policy regarding unused food at end of reception and decide with couple what to do with it.
- Agree with couple about the group photogaphs they'll want taken at the wedding and prepare reminder lists... give a copy to photographer and videographer.
- Give mobile number to ALL providers in case anyone needs urgent contact on wedding day.
- Prior to wedding day (or sometimes on the actual morning if it's an evening wedding), liaise with beverage vendor about delivery of drinks (spirits, beer, etc) to venue and be present when they are delivered. List all items delivered, ensure beverage vendor and head waiter have copies. Ensure you know beverage vendors' policy regarding returns and decide with couple what to do with unused drinks.
- help groom pack overnight bag/ travel items if they're going abroad immediately.
- help the groom dress and reassure him.
- Safeguard wedding rings.
- be the first to arrive at church with own transport and ensure all's well.
- Ensure groom arrives at church half-an-hour before ceremony.
- Guide him to his place.
- Liaise with photographer and videographer as required.
- Ensure ushers are guiding guests to appropriate aisles, giving out booklets if available.
- Ensure those who read are prepped and timed.
- Give rings when required.
- Ensure that attendees file out aisle by aisle for Holy Communion.
- Ensure distribution of confetti outside church after end of ceremony.
- Handle church donation if required.
- Ensure transportation to reception has arrived for all parties.
- Ensure all guests know how to arrive at reception.
- Leave the church and be the first to arrive at reception.
- Inspect facility for problems, including toilets.
- Discuss timings with head-waiter.
- We suggest asking him to gather all waiters and informing them that you'll be giving them IN HAND an extra payment equal to 1 hr of overtime, no matter till what time they work. This will motivate the waiters, make them happier and ensure they do a better job.
- Make sure that the waiters circulate all areas of the reception venue with food and drinks.
- Make sure no areas of rubbish, plates or glasses accumulate.
- Liaise with head-waiter about timings.
- Liaise with photographer and videographer to gather and organise guests for the group shots... Remember your pre-prepared lists.
- Handle all gifts, writing amounts within envelopes on the outside of envelopes.
- Ensure distribution of confetti as required e.g. couple entering reception, first-dance, cutting of cake, going-away.
- If speeches to be held, guide order of speeches and make own speech.
- Help decorate the going-away car.
- Ensure couple arrives at post-reception destination either in own going-away car or by taking them there in person.
After Reception, same evening:
- Ensure wedding party members require no assistance.
- Settle pending payments to vendors if they require it that evening.
- Safeguard gifts received, totalling amount received.
- Remain at venue till last guests have departed.
- Check place over to ensure no guest/ wedding party member forgot anything.
- Carry out couples' wishes regarding flower arrangements.
- Liaise with beverage vendor regarding unused drinks, as agreed with couple.
- Liaise with caterer regarding unused food, as agreed with couple.
- Return groom/ bestman/ ushers suits to vendors.
- Settle pending vendor bills if required.
- Hand over gifts given during reception to the couple.
- Pat yourself on the back!